Filed under: Uncategorized
So, it is currently 11:16pm and I just came back from church.
I’m just going to be completely honest in my blog. I’d say that my week was really really tough. I was all emotionally, physically, and spiritually everywhere. Many good things happened.. some bad things, but bad is not always bad.. it can be good.. so in conclusion good things happened? LOL. alright that doesn’t make sense but lets move on.
Okay so, this week, I put God aside and told Him I would handle all my situations alone and that He should leave it up to me. Of course I know that we, as Christians aren’t capable of overcoming our struggles w/o the strength of the Lord. But you know those days when you just feel so exhausted and worn out that you push God aside.. ? The time when you need Him the most and yet you just ignore Him?
During praise and worship today, I decided to take a step back and have my own space to worship God freely. So I decided not to lead today with Phillip. While I was standing there reading over the lyrics on the screen.. I wasn’t feeling it today. I was like.. Eh, I don’t know, just not today. Not feeling it. And I just stood there frozen.. emotionless.. but I remembered that God deserves all the honor and praise and even when I don’t feel like worshipping Him.. I should because HE IS GOD. So, in the end, I opened up to a heart of worship. It was hard though because it isn’t something easy to do.
I talked to a great brother today and he told me that God would rather see us Christians giving Him all the praise and worship the days when we’re not “feeling” it rather than giving Him all the praise during good and happy times. I was really awed because it reminded me about how I felt today during worship.
If you have someone in your life that you deeply care about, you wouldn’t want to lose them right? And what happens when they don’t want to talk to you? You would want to chase after them and always accept them because you care about them. Well, I’ve been experiencing something similar to this quite awhile now.. and I just had an epiphany. If I’m that eager and desperate to maintain and keep that friendship/relationship going, and yet they ignore me, just how much would my God feel.. when I ignore Him.. When I only come to Him whenever I need help.. When I only talk to Him during my happy times.. When I only accept Him when times are good.. When I only allow Him when I feel like it.. 
and compared to my heart and His heart, my compassion and love is nothing compared to what God has for all of us =/
So what does God do when you put Him aside? He continually and patiently waits for you to come back step by step. Something I need is patience and compassion.. just like God [:
I was talking to a friend of mine, and I told him that… I’m really really thankful for my odpc youth group and that i’m amazed by how God can really do work in our lives. I also told him how I’m getting a little more sad now because to think about it.. I’m going to be a senior soon and I only have about a little more than a year till I go to college That is pretty SHORT. With all that short amount of time, what CHANGE can I make out of the yg? I don’t want to graduate and leave the youth group making no impact and change. I want to do something.. but how can I? with barriers like my dad, and with this short amount of period? That made me really think about the youth group right now and.. From now on, I want to enjoy every single moment of my time at church and be Faithful, Available, Teachable among the individuals.
Alright, I’m tired. I just want to end here. Btw, today was epic! Food fight during 2nd lunch today at Centreville High School & a lock down due to a suspected gun?.. which turned out to be stupid at the end. 3 Cops?.. with guns and dogs… nice nice.
‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.
Zechariah 4:6
