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eddieTHEHOTNESS 12:13 am
(12:13:28 AM):     iight peace ima read the bible

LOOOL!!!!!

GOD IS GOOD

Hm, how should I start my blog? Dang, I haven’t blogged since November? That was literally last year. Hahaha, well today I am home. I had a WANT lock-in last night and in the morning following with a short praise team practice.  Man, it was pretty fun but I was super duper tired to the point I just couldn’t stop closing my eyes. We all went iceskating last night at 12am-2am?.. Idk but yeah it was mad hilarious. Why? Because there were a lot of people who couldn’t skate and they looked madly dorky cute trying to balance HAHAHA! So after i got home, I got some free time on my hands. While I was just home sticking around doing my tutor’s homework and listening to music, my tutor called me and canceled class today because of the snow THANK GOODNESS. After that, I decided to listen to some Christian music and one song really got me.

I was listening to this song called ’ Till I See You’ by Hillsong United and man, I just got totally moved by the lyrics. I remembered playing this song on the guitar when I was a freshman trying to learn and get all the chords down perfectly but I failed.  I was such a noob back in the days (and i still am ;] ) that song was just eh, another “christian” song to me. But for some reason, after listening to it today, I was just thrilly amazingly blessed by the lyrics. I reread and sang the lyrics over and over again and it felt God was directly speaking to me through this song. This song has so much meaning and power if you really put the effort to understand and put the words deep into your heart. Every single word in the song is so legit and genuinely the truth. But my favorite part is the Chorus. It goes like…..

I will live to love You
I will live to bring you praise
I will live a child in awe of You

This will be my prayer. To be honest, I’m still struggling to love Him, giving Praise to Him, and living like a Child who is in awed of him. I want to give praise to the Lord. I want to be a child who is always awed by His glory and grace. I want to LOVE Him with all my heart and with all my mind.. But it’s hard. I can’t. I really want to. But it’s hard. And my prayer is that God will teach me and show me how to love Him genuinely & that He’ll gradually change my heart. I guess one of the things I need is patience. This.. what the Chorus said.. is what literally everyone forgets including myself. What we are living for. The purpose, the meaning of our Life given by Creater of the Universe. What are we living for? Drama? Boys? Girls? Grades? College? Career? Wealth? Drugs? Sexuality? Gossip? Popularity?  God only gives one life.. and it will be passed. Only what you do for Christ.. will last.

“And ’til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in you”

PS: Don’t you just love it when a song really sticks out to you???? ehehh

Yesterday, Pastor Peter gave a sermon on the series of Job and it was basically about suffering. I really loved his sermon. I was so blessed by it and it made me really challenge myself to want to be more like Job. Even after Satan destroyed literally everything that Job had, even his own physical body, Job still put his trust in God even though he was seriously at the verge of giving up. Wow.. I ask myself.. How does he do that? Even when the smallest things don’t go the way I want, I always complain to God and push Him away. I would complain and tell God how life isn’t fair and it isn’t going the way I want it to go. But what I’ve realized is that people start to complain and push God aside when they don’t meet their demands. What really got me the most is when Pastor Peter said, “suffering doesn’t change who God is, it changes the way we see God.” And man that is SO true. When times are good, we praise God and “feel” like we’re at a spiritual high, but what really matters the most is when times are bad and how we see God during those trials. How you SEE Jesus determines how you SEE suffering. Just like what Pastor Peter said, we have to look at the bigger picture of God. We only look at Him so small, yet He is more than too big. That is how our perspective should be. We only look at the materialistic, temporary, appearance, etc of life… The small useless things that aren’t going to make any difference.. SO temporary. What we should be looking at is the eternal heavenly treasures in the Kingdom of God.

 ”Do not store up yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also.” Mathew 6: 19-21

Yeah that went kind of off topic, but anyways back to suffering.. Sigh. Something I’ve noticed is that many people tend to spiritually fall especially during the school year.. All the academic competitiveness, studying, SAT’s, grades, social life, school problems, personal problems, has just been leading people to be more distant from God including me also. One time during praise team practice, everyone went around in a circle describing how our life is. Majority of the people mentioned about school and grades. Philip really helped me to realize that school shouldn’t be the center of our life. He said it seems like we’re too focused on school and not looking at the bigger picture around us. and wow, he was right. I’ve been thinking so much about school as if school is the center of my life but that shouldn’t be it. God should be in the center of my life. I’m just really thankful that God patiently reveals more wisdom to me everyday mysteriously. But anywho, I want to see change. Why does it always have to be like that? Seek spiritual high during the summer, and forget about God when school starts? I think God is too worthy to deserve this. I mean, everyone will fail, and Jesus says it’s okay as long as you TRY to get back up. I mean isn’t that why Jesus sacrificed His own life for us? We’re not the only ones who suffer. Jesus Christ suffered more for us.. He said you’ll experience suffering, sorrow, and pain, but promised a eternal life in the Kingdom of God with no more sorrow and pain.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. I Peter 4:12-13

But I’m not seeing people TRY. They don’t care. Why let Satan defeat you?..  And when Pastor Peter said our yg is in a critical moment.. I agree. I want to see a revival, a change, and I’m longing for it. What makes me mad is the fact that I’m not trying my best and so isn’t everyone else. “Church members may be divided into three classes: wishbones, jawbones, and backbones. The wishbones are always wishing and hoping that their church will somehow grow but without their effort. The jawbones talk a lot, but do little. And the backbones do the work.” I admit I’m currently a jaebone. (Whoa, why did i just type jae. I think I like jaebum too much =p) Jawbone*. I want to become the back bone and do the work.. I hope I can do it.. Hopefully God will help me. Please pray for our youth group for strength and courage.  Anyways, aishh I always go off topic, but back to Job and the suffering part..When Job demanded God to meet with him after all the sufferings Job faced, God answered Job’s entire question in a different way. Instead of answering every one of Job’s question, God gave Job a glimpse of His glory. It opened Job’s eyes dramatically and led him to see God in a different BIGGER picture. Noticed how I said “glimpse.” And God’s glory is what? Bigger than the galaxy. I don’t think we would be able to handle a piece of His love and glory. We would probably die. LOL. We all need to see life in a different perspective.. And so do I. And for those of you who feel you’re not walking with God anymore.. It’s because you chose to leave Him.. But it’s not too late to let Him enter your life once again because God’s love never changes.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

Tonight, Sue IMed me on AIM…

SUEEEEi 
    hey haejung (:
x j u n g i e e 
    hello sueee(:
SUEEEEi 
    hehe sorry im sucha creep. i saw nathan’s fb comment and i decided to add you on my buddy list
    LOL (:
x j u n g i e e 
    LOOOL.. sue, im sorry to say this but
    i had you on my buddy list before
SUEEEEi 
    o___o;
x j u n g i e e 
    LOL NO CREEPER THOUGH
SUEEEEi 
    HAHAHA!!
    <3
SUEEEEi 
    it’s okay
x j u n g i e e 
    i added you a while ago :p
    but i forgot to IM
    HAHA<3
SUEEEEi 
    i stalk people on facebook alot…
x j u n g i e e 
    omg so do i…
    HAHAHA<3
SUEEEEi 
    LOL!

Haha I love facebook.
Well 30 minutes till I turn officially 17

So if I had to describe my junior year so far with one word.. I would say hectic. I have MANY MANY MANY things to do. And to think about.. and to stress about.. and.. and.. all these junks I could list but thats not the point. Like they all say, it is the toughest, most challenging high school experience academically. I consider this true. It only has been what? Five weeks of school..? and I am already feeling anxious and scared how I am going to survive the school year. I have SAT gongboo, marching band, church, work, keeping my grades up, and also.. worrying about my relationship with God. However, I’m really thankful and amazed how God has been working so much in my life with the littliest things. He has been patiently working in me and gradually changing my perspective on life. Because I know I may have to face more challenges later on as junior year goes by, I’ve been longing to spend more time with God alone.. I’m longing for His spiritual rest and peace.. and yeah it really amazes me how I had so much free time during my freshman and sophmore year… but I had the tendency to put God aside all the time. One of the things I really prayed for over the summer was that even if this school year gets me extremely busy and overwhelmed, that I would spend some time with Him at least 10 minutes a day… and honestly He’s been helping me so much. I just can’t believe how busy I am and yet, I’m learning to put some of my time to walk with God.. I know this might really seem like not a big of a deal, but i’m really really happy. I hope I can keep this up!.. My mom always brings out this bible verse whenever I whine or complain about how I suck at life :p

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

 Philippians 4:13

Wow.. I’m so thankful for my mom and dad. They have been SO loving and supporting towards my family. They continually remind me of how IT IS FINE if I screw up my junior year grades as long as I tried my best. They don’t want to go to sleep until I finish all my homework and constantly expresses their love towards me. Like the smallest things they do breaks my heart. I never realized how important my family was until LOL recently but they have been SO supporting and encouraging, I could never replace them for anything Sigh, I feel bad for my dad though. He is such a hard, determined, dedicated, commited, passionate worker and in return.. I don’t think I can at least make him proud by getting into a good college. Those things worry me. My dad is absolutely fine with whatever college I get into, but mentally, it bothers me if I don’t do well.. I have to be honest. I am actually not really competitive towards my peers. Like the only reason I worry about college and grades is becaue of my dad.. Not because my friends could get into a better college than me.

I have to end it here. I’ll be blogging more often now I guess.. maybe. lol